Showing posts with label Alise Murawski. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alise Murawski. Show all posts

Eat This Not That: Movie Munchies

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In my opinion, one of the best parts about going to the movies is the GLORIOUS FOOD. With so many gorgeous-ahem ...*good* movies out (hello, Henry Cavill as Superman; oh, nice to see you again, Channing Tatum in "White House Down"), this summer is a prime time for movie watching (can you say air-conditioned theaters? I can). Yeah, it might be 10 bucks a ticket, but nothing is better than movie theater popcorn. Unfortunately, like most delicious things in life, it’s also not so good for you. Here are some of my picks for healthier movie snacks.

Instead of: Hersheys Chocolate Bar
Munch on: Junior Mints


A basic rule for eating healthy at a movie theater is to just avoid any and all candy bars (sigh). Junior Mints are still covered in delicious dark chocolate, but they’re also pepperminty and much better for you than a good ol’ king size milk chocolate bar ... as nice as that sounds.

Instead of: DOTS
Munch on: Swedish Fish/Gummy Bears


I love DOTS, but they’re definitely not the best for me or my cavity-prone sweet tooth. Try to find sugar-free something, like Swedish Fish or Gummy Bears to satisfy your chewy, sweet craving with a little less guilt.

Instead of: Butterfingers
Munch on: Tootsie Rolls


Butterfingers are the best, but they have the word “butter” in there for a reason, ladies. Tootsie Rolls now come in lots of different flavors besides classic chocolate, and they’re chewy, which means that you’ll spend more time actually eating them and less time eating in general. It’s super easy to overeat while watching a movie, so just be conscious of how much you’ve eaten and how full you are.

And if you really want popcorn? Go for the smaller size. Yes, getting a large popcorn means you have more to share with your friends or your cute date, but seriously. In a study by Brian Wansink at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, he discovered that people ate up to 50 percent more popcorn when eating out of a large bucket than a medium sized one, even though when polled after the film, they guessed they had eaten less than they actually did.

Go for the smaller size, cut back on the salt (which will only dehydrate you), or spring for kettle corn. You’ll thank yourself later.

But hey, if you’ve earned a splurge? Go for it! Just make sure to do everything in moderation. There’s nothing sweet about a 24/7 sweet tooth. Trust me!

By: Alise Murawski

How to Hydrate the Healthy Way

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I am a huge water person. (Aren’t we all? Our bodies are 60 percent water, our brains and muscles are 75 percent water, and our blood is 92 percent water, according to waterinfo.org.) But it’s also summer; it’s hot, we’re sweaty, we’re active, and ultimately we need to replenish all the water we lose to avoid dehydration. (Trust me ladies, dehydration ain’t pretty.)

Are you getting your “eight glasses of eight?” That’s a reference to the idea that we should be drinking eight eight-ounce glasses of water a day. The Mayo Clinic says that’s not quite enough, but it’s in the ballpark.

I don’t really need any motivation to drink lots of water because I get really frequent headaches if I don’t keep myself hydrated. There’s nothing like a migraine for motivation! But I know quite a few people who would rather drink soda or juice than boring ole water. So how can you spice up your water intake?

I’m here to solve that problem.

Lemon & Cucumber Water


This is my favorite because the tartness of the lemon works so well with the cool, smooth cucumbers. Plus, you don’t have to cut up an entire lemon or cucumber to get this drink! I literally only used a few slices and cut them into cute wedges. Add some ice, and you’ve got a sweet, refreshing drink for hot summer days.

Nectarine (or Peach) and Apple Water


I love this mixture for the colors and also for the taste. The green apples are tart and sour while the nectarines I cut up are sweet and juicy (peaches would work great, too).

For more fun, you also could try freezing berries in ice cube trays with some water. I haven’t tried it, but I saw it on Pinterest, and it looks like it would be delicious! Just throw a strawberry, some blueberries or maybe even blackberries into a few ice cube trays, and let them freeze.

Water Mix-ins like Mio or Crystal Light

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These also are fun, more convenient ways to spice up a boring old glass of water. I personally light Crystal Light best because it’s super easy to just slip one in a backpack or purse for on-the-go days, but I could see myself doing the same thing with Mio, too.

Either way, it’s easy to get creative with water! Think of it as a blank canvas....

Show me some of your favorite flavored water creations! Instagram College Gloss Mizzou (@collegeglossmizzou) or send us a TwitPic (@CollegeGlossMIZ)!

By: Alise Murawski

Veg Out: Vegetarian Eating Without Missing Out

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Now that you’re (semi) living on your own, you get to make a lot of choices about what you eat, how you eat it and when you eat it (Rollins Late Night, anyone?). One of those choices, if it suits you, could be vegetarianism! If you don’t know, to be a vegetarian means to cut out all animal meats from your diet. Hopefully you’re going vegetarian because you have a personal commitment about it, such as not wanting to support the modern meat industry in the inhumane way it butchers animals. Or maybe you just don’t like the idea of eating a dead chicken.

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I’ve gathered some handy tips for all the wanna-be-herbivores out there. I hope you like them!

Where to Find Protein:

Cutting an entire food group out of your diet is pretty intense. Meat is the number one source of protein, so you need to be consciously supplementing this super important substance into all of your meal choices as a vegetarian.

(Note: you should probably calculate how much protein your body needs based on your body weight. You can Google this and generally come up with a response, but I tried it and my response varied because I have a pretty fast metabolism. Try a few meals, and see how full/energized you feel. If it’s not enough, add more complex carbs and protein!)

Try:
  • Chickpeas
  • Black beans
  • Nuts (lots of nuts!)
  • Tofu
  • Quinoa 
  • Eggs: Eggs are the kings of the protein game, and you can get super creative with them.
  • Cheese


Where to Find Iron:

Iron also is a key nutrient mostly found in meat (with higher concentrations in red meat). You could always take an iron supplement if it becomes a problem, but try to find it in your food, too. Iron is super important, and this kind of mineral deficiency is not something you want to deal with (fatique, pale skin/pallor, weakness, fast heartbeat, dizziness, etc).

Try:
  • A supplement
  • Dark, leafy greens like spinach, kale, broccoli, brussel sprouts, peas and swiss chard 
  • Nuts like almonds and cashews
  • Apricots and raisins
  • Beans (kidney, black, pinto, soy)
  • Lentils and tofu -- both have some of the highest iron concentrations, so don’t knock them until you’ve tried them! 

Plus, seasoning will be your best friend as a vegetarian. If you can season, you can do anything. Also, tofu comes in different textures, from firm to squishy (technical term). Experimentation is the name of the game!

Don’t overlook dairy! There are so many amazing sources of nutrients that you can find in things like greek yogurt (even regular yogurt!), milk, cheese and eggs. 

Also, keep up the great eating habits (with little indulgences) because they’ll matter! Whole grain bread (don’t stop at whole wheat!), peanut butter/soynut butter, fresh fruits, lots of vegetables, of course. I asked one of my good friends, Mikah, who’s a pescatarian (eats only fish and vegetables), and he also recommended finding a good protein bar for snacks. He loves the Naked juice line for their ingredients and protein boosts found in the bottles.

One of the best pieces of advice he gave me? Don’t give up foods you love just to be vegetarian. Love bell peppers and apples? Keep eating bell peppers and apples! If you find you’re less happy munching on leafy greens than you are enjoying a burger, switch back! If it doesn’t make you happy and healthy, it isn’t working.

I’ll put the links to some of my favorite vegetarian recipes from Pinterest to get you started, but let us know in the comments what your vegetarian diet tips are!

Green Goddess Grilled Cheese Sandwich
10 Hearty Vegetarian Recipes
32 Ways to Eat Quinoa (I LOVE Quinoa ... I’m obsessed)
Also, check out The Chubby Vegetarian for fantastic recipes!

This article is a part of Alise's weekly column focusing on fun food ideas.

By: Alise Murawski

Friend or Foe: Energy Drinks

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I’m not a huge fan of energy drinks; coffee is and always will be my go-to pick me up, whether it’s iced or practically scalding. However, since starting at Mizzou, I’ve used energy drinks more and more as a quick boost. One thing I can say? I’m paranoid about what I put into my body (closet health nut over here), but they really do work when used in moderation. Despite my doing this review, I DO recommend you have a healthy skepticism about energy drinks as well ... it’s just not natural to pump your body full of temporary caffeine. Keep that in mind!

So first things first: I can’t stand Red Bull. At all. I’ve always been slightly weirded out by the marketing (Why do I need wings? I don’t like wings. Is that healthy, to sprout wings? That just doesn’t seem right...), but I decided to put my prejudices aside and give it a shot one early morning this past Friday. I’m sitting in the car dealership waiting for the outrageous bill for fixing my adorable Honda CRV (reppin’ dat soccer mom lyfe), and I crack open a can of sugar free Red Bull (that suspicious can in that suspicious light blue color all suspicious-like).
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Uhm. Okay. Maybe it’s just me, but is it supposed to taste like carbonated cough syrup?! It was awful! I could only finish half the can! And besides the shock to my taste buds, it really wasn’t all that effective. Maybe I should’ve given the regular Red Bull a try, but honestly, I don’t think I’m going near that brand again ANY TIME SOON. It’s not you, Red Bull, it’s me. Peace.



Another drink I’ve been dying to try, but can’t find anywhere, is V8 V-Fusion + Energy. I absolutely adore V8’s V-Fusion drinks because they’re not only delicioso (*hair flip* I only took three years of grammar school Spanish), but also provide one combined serving of vegetables and fruit. These drinks, according to their website, use green tea and B vitamins for their energy kick, not extra sugar or caffeine. I still don’t know how effective they are, but I’m definitely more likely to put B vitamins in my body than the extra sugar found in Red Bull.

And with flavors like Orange Pineapple, Peach Mango and Pomegranate Blueberry? I just ... I can’t ... give me a moment. I’m drooling.



Lastly, for my fellow caffeine-addicts and mocha-lovers, Starbucks has an energy drink line called DoubleShot Energy. It comes in lots of different flavors (shoutout: Mocha and White Chocolate are the best!), and I pick mine up at any Mizzou Market on campus. It’s definitely coffee, and maybe it’s just conditioning, but I’m alert as soon as I have a few sips. It was such a staple in my life during finals week that I started to scare my natural-healthy-body-self. For me, it’s effective for a few good hours (around four or five), but there is a crash, like any other energy supplement. I just like that this line of drinks not only tastes familiar (mmmmm coffee) but also, like V8, avoids too many excessive sugars in their drinks in favor of B vitamins, guarana and ginseng. (Know that any energy drink is going to have quite a lot of sugar in it, but you can shop smart to mostly get the “lesser evil” of energy drinks.)

OH, HOLD ON, WAIT. Almost forgot! I just looked at Starbuck’s website, and they have a line of energy drinks taking after their Refreshers campaign! There a three flavors, and they look quite similar to the V8 drinks. Apparently they use green coffee extract, but also real fruit juice, B and C vitamins and ginseng to make it more like fruit juice and less like coffee. I’M SO EXCITED!

Anyway, keep in mind that how you wake up is entirely your own business. But if you want to keep things healthy and light, a great tip is to drink one giant whole glass of water before you do anything, right when you wake up. Your body naturally wakes up dehydrated, so you’re more likely to be tired. This trick always helps me in the mornings, and it’s become kind of a ritual. I love natural fruit juices, too ... apple, orange, cranberry, even pineapple! They’re all pretty simple options and are phenomenal for you. But hey! If you want to grab a Red Bull once in a while, go right ahead. Just know that it won’t make up for consistently inconsistent sleeping patterns. Show your body some love, and it’ll show you some right back!

This article is a part of Alise's weekly column focusing on fun food ideas. 

By: Alise Murawski

Shopping List: Healthy Essentials

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Living in a dorm can be a drag for a lot of reasons, and the lack of access to fresh food is one of them. You will find yourself eating Easy Mac and Nutella on crackers for meals consistently, which just isn’t healthy. They don’t call it the “Mizzou 22” for nothing. Furthermore, you’ll do better in school (and have better skin, hair, nails, attitude, etc., look up those studies, girls) if you eat a healthy, balanced diet. Need I say more?

So how to solve this dilemma: convenience or health-conscious? Good news: you don’t have to choose! Here are a few of my essential snacks that I keep in my dorm for late-night study sessions or midday hunger pangs. They’re all the perfect mix of healthy and delicious (I promise. I hate nasty health food. Dry, unflavored granola? No thank you!). Pick some of these up the next time you’re out!

Popcorn
Honestly, this is the easiest thing to keep in a dorm, and it’s as great for you as it is fun to eat. Un-popped bags store flat on a shelf, or you can just leave them in the box. You can get un-popped kernels and pop them yourself (ugh work), or just buy already-popped stuff in a bag. The options, my friends, are literally endless. Two of my picks are below.



Skinny Pop popcorn is already popped and available in both a big bag or in individual serving-size bags for on-the-go snacking. It’s only 39 calories a cup and tastes pretty addictive. I’d be surprised if you didn’t eat twice as much...because I’ve never done that...

I’ve been known to wolf down an entire bag of microwave popcorn in one sitting (still do, no shame). But these Orville Redenbacher’s Smart Pop Single Serve microwave bags are a lifesaver. At 100 calories each, they’re pretty lean snacks and great for mindless munching. And even though they’re 94 percent fat free, they come in both classic butter and kettle corn flavors.

Crackers/Pretzels and Nutella/Peanut Butter



Seriously, if you find yourself craving a sweet/salty fix, these are for you. My roommate was obsessed with peanut butter and crackers and I never got it until I tried it. Peanut butter is protein, and it’ll fill you up (along with the carbs in the crackers) to keep you going until your next meal. Nutella is less healthy, but paired with pretzels, it’s a phenomenal late night treat.

But don’t just take my word for it! Mix and match! Try out different crackers and spreads. Allergic to peanut butter or nuts? Try SoyNut Butter; all the peanut taste, none of those pesky (or dangerous) reactions. Personally, I love saltine crackers alone, but those could get super boring for people. Triscuts are great too, as are Wheat Thins. And they’re all great for you! Plus if you run out of crackers, hellooo spoonfuls of peanut butter. Remember: no shame.

Fruit

Fresh fruit is notoriously hard to come by on campus, and apples, oranges and bananas can get a little monotonous after a while. Try to swing by Wal-Mart or a grocery store and pick out foods that won’t go bad fast. I love apples because they keep for a pretty long time, and they’re packed with fiber. If you don’t have a fridge in your dorm/apartment, try dried fruit slices. You’ll get the same amount of antioxidants and fiber, but they’ll keep for way longer. Trust me, there’s nothing worse that throwing out food you never even got the chance to eat. I like dried apricots, dried bananas, or raisins. Plus, there’s no excuse not to try the raisins. They sell them covered in yogurt or chocolate. That’s a beautiful thing. Of course, you don’t have to pick apples, either. But you know the saying...an apple a day...

Veggies
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The same rule can be applied to veggies, except I’ve really never come across a dried veggie I liked. The only vegetable tip I’ve totally mastered would be a bag of baby carrots. Those little babies are super good for you and perish fairly slowly in a fridge.

Nuts

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I love nuts, especially almonds, peanuts and cashews. They’re so unbelievably easy to store and they’re phenomenal for your body and mind. Throw a handful or two in a plastic baggie for on-the-go snacking! Trail mix is also a healthy alternative (you can make your own by just mixing your favorite nuts, dried fruit and some semisweet chocolate chips in a bag!).

I hope I’ve helped you gals out in some way, and if not, let me know in the comments! What are your favorite healthy dorm snacks?

This article is a part of Alise's weekly column focusing on fun food ideas.

By: Alise Murawski

Nutella: Spread of the Gods



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First, I have to let you know that I’m listening to Florida Georgia Line while writing this column, and I can’t be held responsible for any random references to “Cruise” (the Nelly Remix).


GIRL YOU MAKE ME WANNA ROLL MY WINDOWS DOWN AND CRUISE.


Ahem. Anyway. Let’s talk about Nutella. The heavenly spread that could inspire thieves to steal more than 11,000 pounds of the stuff. World Nutella Day is February 5th, but I could celebrate this spread all day, everyday. I first found out about the gooey-cocoa-hazelnut goodness during French Club in high school. Our sad imitation of french cuisine was to slap some deli ham and cheese in between baguettes and spread some of this on this leftover bread for dessert.


I think my life changed (I’m not being melodramatic).

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Now my favorite hump-day snack is pretzels and Nutella. Salty, sweet; it’s the perfect combination to inspire any downtrodden college kid.


Here are a few beautiful faces of the world’s most versatile spread (I’m totally non-biased. Totally.):


1. Nutella as Dipping Sauce


Cookies. Crackers. Pretzels (personal fave). Carrots. Fruit (strawberries, apple slices work best). Candy. You name it, you can dip it. And that’s pretty genius.


2. Nutella as Peanut Butter


You put peanut butter on crackers and make cute cracker sandwiches? Done. You put peanut butter on toast? Check. Sure, it may not have all the health benefits of peanut butter, but all work and no fun makes Jack a dull boy...


3. Nutella as Popsicles

I was addicted to Fudgesicles as a kid (*cough* still am *cough*) and now should you be a lazy college student with easy access to a popsicle tray (hello Target) and a freezer (hello dorm room), YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN!


And finally:


4. Nutella as Nutella


Because sometimes all you need is a spoon.

This article is a part of Alise's weekly column focusing on fun food ideas.

By: Alise Murawski

Helping Hands for Oklahoma


If you were like me, you were horrified and shocked by the devastation that occurred after the massive tornado ripped through Moore, Okla., this past Monday. The news reports only get increasingly harder to watch; people losing homes, loved ones and children. Thunderstorms continue to work their way through the area, according to several news outlets, which makes being without even the most basic of human necessities (food, water, shelter) a huge issue.

CGM’s thoughts and prayers go out to all of the families of the victims and all of the families who are currently without a warm house, hot food and their sense of security. College Glossers are the most phenomenal people I know, so if you’d like to help out in any way, here are some places and people to talk to. Know that usually, in the case of any disaster, money is easier to transport, store and use than individual items. But no one will be upset if you send canned food to Moore, Okla., either. Any help is good help.

According to an article by NBC News, there are (more than) a few ways you can help the people of Moore. I’m only listing a few here. Please check out the article for a more complete list.

1. The American Red Cross
First and foremost, you can donate money to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund, which will help rebuild communities devastated by natural disasters, like the one in Moore. Giving blood either at a local hospital or blood bank is also encouraged, and if you can, keep giving weeks after.

In addition, the Red Cross has a Safe & Well website dedicated to locating family members and loved ones after the disaster. All you have to do is register if you live within the disaster zone. If you’ve been affected, let everyone know you’re okay; it’ll help clear up the communication lines for anyone who hasn’t been found.

Futhermore (the Red Cross is insanely good at what they do), you can donate via text message (IT’S SO EASY) by texting REDCROSS to 90999. It will donate $10 to their Disaster Relief Fund mentioned above and will show up like any other charge on your wireless bill.

2. OK Strong Disaster Relief Fund
This fund was established by the state of Oklahoma on Tuesday of this week, with help from the United Way of Central Oklahoma. The purpose of the fund is to help, and I’m quoting here, “with the long-term medical, emotional, and education needs of victims of the May 20 tornado in Moore and the May 19 tornado near Shawnee.” You can donate here.

3. The Regional Food Bank of Oklahoma
Right now, the food bank is requesting monetary donations instead of direct food donations, so keep that in mind. You can donate via their website or via text message, with FOOD to 32333, which will contribute $10. (Remember that to participate in these charges, you have to be 18 years of age or older with parental permission ... all that fun stuff.)

4. Salvation Army
Salvation Army is organizing units to serve affected areas with essentials like mobile kitchens to serve meals to displaced families. You can donate online on their website or via text with STORM to 80888 for a $10 donation.

These are only a few options for giving back to the Oklahoma tornado victims. If you know of anyone in Columbia helping out, let us know on our Facebook page, Twitter or send us a photo on Instagram.

Even a little goes a long way, and whatever you can do helps. It feels a lot better to actually give back and do something instead of sitting around and watching the news over and over. Trust me. No hands are too small to help.

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

Dating: How to Do Long Distance the Right Way


Unfortunately, the end of school also marks one of the most dreaded moments in the academic year: the summer-long-distance-relationship.

Depending on where you live, and if he’s interested in the whole Temporary-But-Not-LDR, summer will be the first huge span of time that you’re away from your significant other. That’s three long months ladies, and you’ll start to feel it. Trust me.

BUT WAIT! STOP YOUR KIM KARDASHIAN CRYING, GIRLS. (You know the one.)

It can be done! You can do this! (If you both want to, of course.) My tips for getting through (and actually enjoying) summer with a Temporary LDR? I thought you’d never ask!

Get Talking: Please be on the same page! Know the expectations for the relationship, and that involves talking. You gotta talk it out. Can you see other people? What is cheating? What isn’t? Will you text every day? Every few days? Once a week? Do you want to Skype? Visit each other at home? These are all important things to consider, and there’s no right or wrong way to answer any of them. Every relationship is fabulously different, and that’s the beauty (and turmoil) of romance. 

Get Creative!: It can be boring just texting the same person about the same things. So try to do things together even while you’re apart! My boyfriend and I watch the same TV show at the same time, and text-talk through it, like “Oh that was so cool!” or “Did not see that coming at all.” Make a movie list and work your way through it, and talk about what you liked and didn’t like. Send snail mail. Do a Post Secret-type of deal, where you collect postcards from your hometown and write your favorite things about the other person on the other side. They’ll get to know where you live, and you'll stay on their mind.

Get Out: Sometimes you just have to take a break from them, too. Being in an LDR doesn’t mean you have to talk all the time, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to text him to keep yourself on his mind. Leave the phone at home for the day while you hit the beach, or agree on times where you say goodnight early and do other things (bragging rights: proud to say my boyfriend and I are pretty killer at this. It’s impressive. KAY DONE.)

Get Thinking: If it ends up being an issue, talk about it. Distance is hard, and it’s okay to admit that it’s just not working. Admire the fact that you gave it your best shot, and then move on. Don’t cling to something just because it’s *something*-- you may miss something better.

That’s all I can tell ya. From my experience (and my friends’ experiences), some relationships were meant to withstand distance, and some aren’t. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong; it just means that one chapter might have to end. (If that’s the case, check out my article on breakups. And let me hug you.)

You can do this! Summer is a time to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face and to forget about all the responsibilities and troubles of school work (Unless you’re me, and you’re taking a biology class. Meh). Remember: if you’re not having fun, it isn’t working. Of course not every relationship is easy, but if it feels more like work and less like fun, perhaps you need to revaluate.

I believe in you, College Glossers! Go forth and rock your Temporary LDR like nobody’s business!

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

Dating: The Invisible Problem


Assault happens. But it doesn’t happen to us. You know. Us. It can’t possibly happen to you, or me, or the girl next to you in the library because, well, that stuff just doesn’t happen. Right?

False. That’s the number one reason sexual assaults are still prevalent in society today. People (men and women) just assume that even if it’s happened to someone they know, it won’t happen to them. Why not? I have no idea, but even I’ve believed it from time to time. Deep down, I know it’s absolutely not true. And that scares me.

April was Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and here are some facts to break it down (courtesy of RAINN, Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network).

  • Forty-four percent of victims of sexual assault or rape are under the age of 18. Eighty percent are under the age of 30. 
  • Every two minutes, someone in the U.S. (man or woman, it can happen to both) is sexually assaulted.
  • Fifty-four percent of sexual assaults are not reported to police.
  • Around two-thirds of assaults are committed by someone the victim knows personally.
  • Seventeen point seven million American women have been either raped, or a victim of attempted rape.

In other words, this problem is bigger than you think. I’m really not here to use fear tactics or anything, because I’m not into that, but it’s definitely something young men and women have to know about (as much as that fact makes me very, very sad). 

Mizzou has a lot of great facilities for sexual assault and rape victims, like the Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Center (RSVP). It can be found in the lower level of the Student Center and has a fantastic staff of experts on violence, sexual assault, rape and abuse. Take it from someone who’s met these people; they’re phenomenal. There’s no judgement, no blame -- just unconditional support, help and, really, love.

Alright, so let’s go through the basics:

Remember: Whether you’re being abused in a relationship, have been or are being sexually assaulted, or raped, it is not your fault. This is not your fault. It is never your fault.

If you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, as much as you’re going to want to, don’t shower. Don’t wash off any DNA that the police could use, and don’t change your clothes. It’s going to be an awful feeling, but don’t. STARS at Mizzou (Stronger Together Against Relationship and Sexual Violence) has an amazing program involving giving clothing to rape victims that you have to check out. Police confiscate all clothing (including underwear) at the time the rape kit is done at the hospital. So victims are sometimes left with hand-me-down underwear. STARS is working to change that, and they’re succeeding.

If you believe you’re in an abusive relationship, check out this list of possible abusive behaviors. Then, tell someone. They can help you. Please don’t believe you’re alone and that no one can stop your abuser (regardless of sex). Someone can help you, and they can only help you if you ask.

Counseling programs and help centers exist all over the country (True North in Columbia is a great one). Please go get help if you need it. There is no stigma or shame in reaching out. It could save your life.

Going through sexual assault, abuse, or rape can be traumatizing. There’s a reason people refer to rape victims as “survivors.” As much as I wish I didn’t have to write an article like this, I will because I don’t want you to face something like this alone. Dating violence and abuse can happen to anyone. It is never okay, and it is also never your fault.

Repeat after me: You were not asking for it. You did not lead him/her on. You were not too drunk. You were not too high. You were not dressed too skanky. You are not at fault.

The only person who did something wrong is the person who hurt you. And if you can speak up and stand up (with the support of hundreds of thousands of other women who have gone through this too), maybe you can start to change the world we live in.

And if you know someone who has been raped, do not shun them. Do not blame them. Do not act differently. Give them control because they might not feel like they have any anymore. Let them know that you are here for them and that you love them. Love is so much more powerful than pain.

Hopefully there will be a day when articles like these are irrelevant and I don’t have to write columns about it anymore because it’s a prehistoric notion, the idea of hurting a woman or man sexually or emotionally (or financially or mentally; there are a lot of forms of abuse) has fallen to the wayside.

I can’t wait for that day. But until then: you are not alone.

Other Online Resources:

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

Dating: For Better and For Worse?


Okay, so you’re not exactly making marriage vows here. Most likely if you are in a committed relationship (like myself), you’ve hit some rough patches. And if you haven’t? Oh, my darling, they’re out there, and they’ll find you. *Begin terrifying Jaws soundtrack.*

There will be times in your relationship (hopefully very few times) where one party is going through something tough. Be it a family member passing away, a favorite pet running off, or a disease/diagnosis/crazy disaster. Watching all the coverage of the events in Boston (and Texas) a few weeks ago made me realize ... what would I do if my significant other had been there? What if he had lost someone? What if he had been hurt?

First things first: in tragedies (and at all times really), communication is key. My boyfriend and I have a sort-of-rule: It’s okay if you sent really short, vague text messages (or even none at all) during an emergency as long as you promise to follow up as soon as you can with the entire story. Honestly, whatever freaks him out freaks me out as well, so it’s a double dose of torture when I have no idea what’s going on. But especially if it’s with a family member, lay low. Family is first and that’s how it should be. Don’t be the crazy girlfriend calling every five minutes while your boyfriend is dealing with an emergency. You should make each other stronger, not drive each other up the wall. Trust in the fact that you’ll know eventually and until then, distract yourself with something else. The short version: sending 8,000 “Are you okay?” texts is not an option. Just don’t do it.

Second, clarify. Ask questions and try not to read too much into what he says. If there’s a funeral, ask gently if he wants you there or not. And please, DO NOT be offended if he says no. I have a particular story involving a boyfriend of at least nine months that showed up at my grandfather’s funeral when I specifically told him not to come. Why? Apparently he assumed that my “no” was just a stubborn, proud way of saying “please be there, I’ll need you.” When, in reality, it wasn’t. Gentlemen, in all situations, “no” does actually mean no. I was super angry with him about it because, in my case, I didn’t want him to meet my extended family for the first time in that setting. It wasn’t appropriate. End of story. (I’m still mad. You can’t tell, right?)

Just don’t assume they want you to do something if they haven’t specifically asked it. Tragedy and rough times can be hard, and I’ve learned that everyone deals with them in their own unique way. Don’t criticize or throw out "should have's." My best friend said something really introspective the other day when we were talking about this. She said that when someone you love is going through a hard time, you’re supposed to be their rock. It doesn’t matter if you were whining about your not-so-hard-knock life a few seconds before. Try to flip a switch and be empathetic. Be their rock. Take comfort in the fact that they take comfort in you, whether you’re at the hospital or the funeral home, or a million miles away.

It’s okay if you don’t know what to say. It’s okay if you don’t know what to do. One of the hardest things in this world, I believe, is watching someone you care deeply about go through something with which you can’t help.

So if you’re going through a tragedy, remember to keep your significant other in the loop. Let them know what’s up, and try to be as specific as possible when talking to them about plans that include them.

And if you’re helping someone through a bad time? Be comforting and don’t push. Just feel it out. If you think they need a little cheering up, try that. If you think they just need to sit and cry, be there. It’s okay to take things down a few notches. Pay attention to the person you care about and you’ll instinctively know what to do.

My go-to phrase? “It’s going to be okay,” or “I’m here for you.”

Because even if it isn’t, and you’re not *actually* there, there’s nothing quite like hearing someone else say it.

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

Pride Month: Hollywood's Cutest Couples




April is LGBTQ month here at Mizzou, and do you know what that calls for? A fantastic countdown of our favorite LGBTQ couples! These amazing people are leading by example and breaking down barriers for similar couples all over the world. Use star power for good? You don’t have to tell these couples twice.

1. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka


These two are literally the epitome of “cute couple,” from their adorable twins to their fantastic smiles whenever they’re with each other on the red carpet. Their spreads in magazines, dressing up their kids in costumes, everything about these two is actually perfect. I’m so jealous of this relationship. Seriously. Why can’t my boyfriend and I be this cute/charming/funny? And a lot of people (I daresay almost everyone) is invested in their happy relationship. Don’t believe me? Just ask Buzzfeed: they did a quiz about just how well you know Neil and David’s relationship. It goes to whole new levels of creepy. Oh, yes.

2. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi


Ellen and Portia met in late 2004, married in 2008, and have been stealing our hearts ever since. They’re the epitome of “power couple” and both have helped the LGBTQ movement make enormous strides in the past few years. Ellen is hilarious and also extremely outspoken about her sexual orientation in a very subtle, no-nonsense way. She even pokes fun at herself sometimes on her show. Quite honestly, she was a trail-blazer for lesbian women in the television industry. Portia not only dealt with coming out as a young actress but also fought a battle with anorexia, eventually writing a book about the ordeal. Together, these two strong women are helping other strong women find their ground and raise awareness about LGBTQ-related issues, including the “It Gets Better” project.

3. Elton John and David Furnish


After meeting in 1993, they entered a civil partnership in 2005. Elton had been through two previous marriages already, but that didn’t matter to this couple. Even cuter? They have two adorable boys, Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John and Elijah Joseph Daniel Furnish-John (whew! Those are a mouthful). The couple also attempted to adopt a boy from an AIDS orphanage in Ukraine, but were denied the adoption due to age and marital status. The couple still continues to care for the boy though, sending money and campaigning for a change in the law. These two men certainly know what it means to care for the ones they love, related or otherwise, not to mention all of Elton’s work with the Elton John AIDS Foundation that he founded in 1992.

4. Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni


Our favorite "Sex and The City" darling Cynthia Nixon has been through and accomplished quite a lot: beating breast cancer, graduating from the prestigious Barnard College, acting in what is in my opinion one of the best television shows known to (wo)man (not all necessarily in that order). But I think she would say (though I can’t speak for her) that her best accomplishment was meeting and dating Marinoni. The pair married just last year, Nixon has two children from a previous marriage, and it would appear all is well. Nixon is an activist for both breast cancer research with the Susan G. Komen Foundation as well as an outspoken supporter of marriage equality. And we thought just Miranda was kickass...

5. George Takei and Brad Altman


Probably my nerdiest crush ever, George Takei was in "Star Trek" way back when, and I’ve watched all of the reruns. The fact that he’s in a relationship that rivals Patrick Harris and Burtka up there is also a huge plus. He revealed to Frontiers magazine in 2005 that he was in a committed relationship for 18 years prior with Altman. He made no effort to “come out,” or hide his sexuality from costars, an example that speaks volumes to LGBTQ youth today. Extremely outspoken about gay rights (and human rights), he’s given countless interviews about what it’s like to be a gay man in today’s culture and society, and how it’s really not so different from being a straight man, except for that discrimination thing (kind of a big deal). Altman helped take care of Takei’s terminally ill mother, as any other loving couple would. Hell, after marrying during the short window that Proposition 8 was legal in California, Takei and Altman went on a celebrity edition of "The Newlywed Game Show" and donated their winnings to the Japanese American National Museum. If that’s not evidence of how amazing this couple is, I don’t know what is.

Who are your favorite LGBTQ celebrity couples? Let us know in the comments below.

By: Alise Murawski

Dating: Can We Work Backwards?


This is an issue that’s been coming up since my friends and I fanned out across the country and started college. Inevitably, one of us would go to a party, meet a cute guy, end up hooking up, and then, instead of hiding our faces in shame and agony at our trashy ways (not), actually wanted to date the guy.

The same goes for some of my guy friends. They’ve met a girl, hooked up, and then hesitated because they actually saw the relationship going beyond Funky Fresh Friends with Benefits.

Can we do that? Is it smart? It goes against everything we’re supposed to do when we want to date someone. Doesn’t “giving it up” on the first date (or anything more than a kiss goodnight) make us less likely to get a second date?

I mean, in theory, if you really like someone that you’ve hooked up with, a relationship should follow, right? But in all of the cases involving my friends, that hasn’t been the case. In fact, none of the potential hook-ups became serious relationships.

It might have something to do with the assumption that if we sleep with someone immediately, we’ve given up all mystery in the relationship. That’s it, it’s awwwwwllll gone, and it’s downhill from here. But, in accordance with that assumption, every relationship is just a build-up of stepping stones to sex. And you and I both know, adorable College Gloss reader, that that’s just not the case.

So what is it? Are we really just not pursuing relationships with people we hook up with because we don’t think they can carry over? And why not? Lots of people sleep together on the first date. But then again, hooking up after a party isn’t exactly a first date. Are we punishing potential relationships by hooking up with potential partners? Or are we just living that free and easy college life, exploring our options?

I’m afraid this article has left me with more questions than answers...

Help a confused columnist out: Can you start dating backwards? Do initial hookups hurt a potential relationship? Why or why not? Answer in the comments!!

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

Dating: Meet the Parents


It’s the scariest thing you can do to a new beau: introduce them to your family. In fact, it’s probably more nerve-wracking than the first kiss. Ranked slightly below the “I Love You” and definitely higher than introducing him or her to your friends, meeting the parents can be absolutely mortifying or terrifying, depending on your family.

With mine, I tend to only introduce them to guys I’m really serious about. I might mention a guy in passing first, to see what they think. Most of the guys I’ve dated went to high school with me, so my parents are familiar with their names already. It helps to kind of prepare them first instead of just popping up one night for dinner with this strange guy I’m googly-eyed over.

Also, try to prepare your boyfriend first, too. He’s probably WAY more nervous than you are (trust me on this), so prep him with details if he looks a little pale in the face! Tell him what your parents do, where they grew up, what their favorite hobbies are. Mention the same to them, if you can. And if you find any similarities, BRING THEM UP. It’ll help ease any potentially awkward conversations. For example, I tend to date guys who used to be Boy Scouts (I KNOW. But according to Boy Scout Law [I googled] they’re “Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.” What’s not to love?), and my dad was a scout way back when. So naturally, I always bring up what they’ve done or worked on pertaining to the scouts so my dad can relate and they have at least something to talk about. Athletics? Hobbies? Sports? Famous family members? All of those are fair small-talk game.

Also, don’t do this too soon. It’s better to have your parents ask about your significant other than to just plop him into their laps. My parents take a very hands-off approach to my dating; they don’t want to be seen pressuring me to stay with a guy just because they “looooooove” him (which has happened). So they mostly stay out of the picture and just want to make sure he’s a decent, stand-up kind of guy (HELLO, *BOY SCOUT.* CHECK).

Just make sure you’re not bombarding your parents every other weekend with a new guy. It definitely sends the wrong message, will scare the guy off (I’m a commitment-phobe and just thinking about it freaks me out) and will just get more and more awkward. I want my parents to know that the guys I bring home are the special ones, guys I see sticking around for a long time.

I also try to do it in a place that won’t make my parents or my boyfriend uncomfortable. A restaurant is okay, but your home might be better. If conversation lulls, you can point to a picture and tell a funny story or find some cute knick-knack and have your mom explain how she found it on a beach in Cancun one summer or something. Imagine how you’d want to feel meeting his parents and apply it to this situation. A dinner with everyone at home, with some good old home cooked food is ideal. He can compliment the food (or you, if you’re visiting his parents), your family is together, he’ll sort of know what to expect ... it’s a win-win as far as I’m concerned.

Yes, it’s insanely exciting to bring together two (or in this case, sometimes three) people you really care about. But please take it slow with this. Your parents will be more than understanding. And if they’re not? It’s your life! The best part? If your mom tells embarrassing stories about you, you know that his mom will probably do the same thing. Parents are pretty much the same across the board. They just want their son/daughter to be the happiest person on the planet.

I’m still not fantastic at meeting parents, but it helps to honestly just listen. Pick up what they like talking about (for my mom it’s knitting) and explore it. Be respectful, be honest, and be yourself. It sounds overly simple, but it’s true! Your parents and his just want to know that you’re good for each other.

Be the girl he fell for, and his parents will fall for you, too!

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source
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