It's Good to Be Bad: Dating in Your Dorm

Dormcest: (noun) the act of dating or hooking up with that fantastically attractive boy at the end of your hall that’s definitely been giving you eyes all week. Is it good? Possibly. Bad? Maybe. We’ll lay out the pros and cons here, so if the opportunity does roll around, you’ll already be well-prepared.

The Upsides

• They’re right down the hall/floor.

The best part about seeing someone in your dorm? You don’t have to walk very far to see them. All those cute accidental meetings? Check. Fun pajama nights in, watching movies with snuggles? Check. Easy meet-ups for party-hopping? You got it. I cannot stress enough the convenience of this situation.

• You’ll probably have the same friend group.

Generally everyone knows everyone on their floor; however, there are always exceptions. You might meet new friends through him, and likewise he might meet new people through you. Dating someone, or at least spending a significant amount of time with them, will eventually lead to you meeting some semi-significant people in his or her life, if not more.

• Other people know both of you.

While it’s definitely easier to keep relationships private, outside opinions are valuable from time to time--if you need hardcore relationship advice, or if you’re just uneasy about your feelings, it can be very nice to seek the opinions of people who have seen both of you in action (aka, the people on your floor/in your hall). Often someone “on the outside looking in” can have a better approach or solution to a problem in your relationship.

• You get to know each other faster.

Since you’ll most likely run into each other more often, it speeds up the initial introductory process. It’s easier to come up with inside jokes, go on spontaneous dates, or just see the other person in their natural habitat (at the risk of sounding like Steve Irwin. RIP, mate). Remember that initial awkward phase in the beginning of every relationship? It’s significantly shorter here. You’re welcome.

The Downsides

• No privacy? It could feel like it.

While there are definitely positive aspects of having your beau live just down the hall, it’s also important to remember that they’re just down the hall. So unless both of you set ground rules on when and where you can or cannot bother each other, he or she could show up all the time at your door. And as cute as that might be for a few weeks, it will quickly grow old when you have school work piling up.

• People talk.

Let’s just imagine that this relationship doesn’t go as planned. Breakups happen, but so does gossip. And it doesn’t matter how casual the breakup or how friendly you are (or act) afterwards; everybody talks. (And yes, I did mean to get Neon Trees stuck in your head. Once again, you’re welcome.)

• IF you break it off, awkwardness will ensue.

Do you know how long awkward elevator rides are? Light years.

• Romantic Breakups: Bad. Friendship Breakups? Worse.

And if that breakup is nasty, no one wants to pick sides. Trust me. At least no good friends anyway. Let me just stress this fact: the potential outcome, if you two aren’t peachy if things don’t work out, is awkward, awkward, awkward. Awkward. You’ve been warned.

Regardless...

• Use protection.

It’s not dumb. It never was dumb. It will never be dumb. And no, it doesn’t make you a party-pooper. It makes you smart.

• Be cordial and respectful.

This is the basis of every relationship, no matter how convenient or serious.

• Remember who you are.

It’s easy to lose yourself in college. Try to have a good hold on your values, morals and what you stand for. And if you slip up? Forgive yourself. 

• Report abuse.

If at any time you feel uncomfortable, call:
-National Domestic Abuse Hotline: (1-800-799-SAFE)
-True North Center 24-Hour Sexual and Domestic Abuse Hotline: (1-573-875-1370)
-Mid-Missouri Crisis Line: (1-573-445-5035)
-National Teen Dating Abuse Line: (1-866-331-9474)

These numbers, and many others for a variety of situations, can be found on the Mizzou Women’s Center website. Abuse isn’t specific, and it certainly doesn’t discriminate.

No matter what you decide, one thing is for certain: this is college and you may feel as though this is a new opportunity to create a “new you.” One last tip? Make sure that no matter what decisions you make, whether it’s a casual fling with a boy from the fifth floor to a serious relationship with the cutie on the second, check out your conscience and your gut first. As long as they’re both okay with it, flirt on, my friends ... flirt on.


By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source