Dating: Operation Me-Time

Ask anybody: being in a relationship is an amazing experience. However, no matter how amazing your connection with each other may be, your schedule can get the best of you (especially in college). Between meetings, intramural practices, chapter meetings, parties, classes and homework, it’s not amazing anymore -- it’s exhausting.

There are two secrets to keeping your relationship fun, exciting and full of energy.

Secret 1: Scheduling. Yeah, it’s not glamourous to keep a day planner. It’s not fun or spontaneous, but it definitely helps. As far as dating goes, write that down just like you write down what homework is due next week. When you see a date penciled in, you’re more likely to make time for it as your week fills up and less likely to cancel (or forget). Also, if you’re a complete workaholic like me, it gives you something to look forward to during a crazy week, and I’m personally less likely to see the date as a stressful thing.

Secret 2: Me-Time! I know, I know. You barely have time to see your significant other -- how can I expect you to make me-time? Listen to this: taking time alone, by yourself, just to do something you enjoy solo will make you a better partner. I’m serious! You’ll recharge, take pleasure in something you loved before your fantastic relationship happened, and you’ll go back to your fabulous social life with a new energy. Trust me! Take an hour, read a book, listen to some music, work out alone ... do what you love, by yourself, and get your mind back into a calm place. That way on your next date, you’ll be even more present and totally not exhausted.

Always remember to make time for yourself, and also, if scheduling dates is getting stressful, try to do something easy: go bowling, get coffee, stay in with a movie. Making time for a relationship is important, but so is making time for yourself. And if you find yourself stressed over dates regardless? Maybe it’s your relationship. After a certain number of dates, you should feel more comfortable, start exploring each others’ personal lives, seeing each others’ homes ... not meeting at a random restaurant for the umpteenth time.

Another point to remember is that a relationship is a two-way street. If he’s not doing anything to help you plan dates, especially if you’re super busy, you need to call him to action. Ask him to pick something fun, or urge him to take you to do something he enjoys. He loves to grill? Ask him to teach you a few tricks. Loves paintballing? Lace up your big-girl shoes and go! Making time for dates also means compromising sometimes. And you’ll learn a lot more about him when you do what he likes!

Now stop reading this fantastic column, go schedule a date and take some me-time. I’ll try to do the same thing. I actually have to schedule my own me-time.

But if I can do it...

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source


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