The Awkward Task of Friendzoning

So I have a confession, I have a guilty pleasure. No... I’m not talking about how I occasionally belt out Hannah Montana songs when I drive to work. I’m talking about the TV show "Friendzone" on MTV.

If you aren’t aware of this program, then let me enlighten you with its signature awkwardness.

Basically every episode consists of a girl and boy who have been friends forever. And either the boy or the girl in the friendship has secretly been in love with the other since they first met. This overflowing love for their best friend has hit an all time high and they just can’t take it anymore.

So like any sane, level-headed person would do, the boy in the friendship pretends that he is going on a blind date and needs his best friend’s (the girl he is in love with) advice and help. But wait, there’s more! This blind date that he is going on is really for her, and when she says goodbye to him at the venue where the date is supposed to take place, he will tell her that the date is really for her and that he is in love with her.

Can you see why this is my guilty pleasure now?

Despite the entertaining factor of this TV show, I couldn’t help but wonder what I would do if one of my guy friends pulled some kind of move like this on me. Because in all honesty, how in the world do you go about friendzoning a guy you care about but only see as a friend?

There are three things that need to happen: take in the situation, let him down easy, and if possible, continue to be friends.

Take in the situation: Okay, so your best guy friend has just confessed that he has feelings for you. That takes a lot of guts. This isn’t a bad thing; he finds you attractive and girlfriend material. That sounds like a pretty flattering compliment to me. Try not to freak out because I can bet that he is shaking in his boots right now and is scared of whatever you are about to say.

Let him down easy: Now you are facing the hard part: rejecting him. You need to acknowledge how brave he is for telling you how he feels and that you think he is a great person; after all, he is one of your best friends. The thing is, though, that you just don’t see your relationship with him in any other light than being friends. This is going to be a really hard thing for him to hear, but whatever you do, don’t say you feel the same way just to not hurt his feelings. That will just turn into an entirely different mess.

Continue to be friends: Let’s be realistic here, things are going to be tense after you drop the verdict that anything more than a friendship isn’t in the future for you two. You may need to give each other some space to cool down and for emotions to simmer down. Friendzoning a good friend though shouldn’t be a death sentence. There was a reason before feelings were brought to the table why you two enjoyed hanging out with each other, and that factor is probably still present. So just give it some time and try to give your friendship another go.

I hope you don’t find yourself caught in a position where you have to friendzone someone. It isn’t a glamorous action to take, even though it is so embarrassing and funny to watch on TV.

That’s my take on friendzoning, something I’m glad so far I’ve only had to experience vicariously through watching MTV, and not in real life.

This article is a part of Kaity's column focusing on dating and relationships in college.

By: Kaity Martin | Image: Source


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