Dating: This is Awkward, But...

We’ve all done it. He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s in two of your classes, you both get along really well and you think, "Hey, this might go somewhere." And we both know where that somewhere leads ... *wink, wink.*

And then he tells you about his eight cats. Or you notice that he’s one of those people who simply refuses to get up and blow their nose (it’s really not that hard) and instead sits there and makes gross snorting sounds the rest of class. (Yes, if you do that, I’m judging you.)

It doesn’t matter what it is: a bad habit, a weird exclamation, a strange smell. It doesn’t have to be anything big, either; we all have dealbreakers. The perfect guy isn’t so perfect when you got up close and personal, right? Truth be told, no one is. But sometimes the spark that was there just isn’t anymore, and you’re stuck with a one-sided almost-love-affair. 

Now the real struggle starts: you were halfway up the rollercoaster to "Couples-ville." How does one suddenly pull the brakes and reverse that sucker? Oh, if only I knew...

In my experience, sometimes you just have to curb the flirting. I once got mildly interested in a guy who was obsessed with, as he called it, “THE Ohio State.” I would think: “Well, he has nice eyes, he’s really funny, he’s into sports, he’s cute...”And then he would say: “Man, I love THE Ohio State!”

“Oh my god, I just can’t.” As cute as he was, every time he brought up his obsession, it was a buzzkill. For another girl, it might be endearing. For me? Completely irrelevant. So I started reminding myself that, if I was going to flirt, I’d have to hear about “THE Ohio State” again. For the millionth time. (And yes, I realize that it’s factually accurate, even correct, to call it “The Ohio State University.” But I just couldn’t get on that boat, okay? I couldn’t. I won’t judge you if you won’t judge me.)

The worst part about all of this? He’s going to notice. When you have a vibe going and you’re both into each other, if one party suddenly pulls away, the other person is going to be like, “woah ... what did I do?” 

My advice? Try to be friendly without being awkward. Take it in stride. I always have to catch myself to make sure I don’t flirt unnecessarily; if you have to, don’t talk to him as much. Seem harsh? I know, I know; but I back it up with an important sentiment: Remember when you were led on by that cute guy, but he never intended to pursue you? You were just a fun conversation or a few flirty texts while he was bored? That’s how you’re going to seem to him. So be very, very careful. No one likes being led on.

Also, if you’re desperate and he’s not getting the message (Ohio State boy did, thankfully, and he even went to his dream school! Go Buckeyes!), you can bring up gross details about yourself. Trust me--you won’t regret it. It’s even kind of fun.

Example: 

“What are you doing this Saturday night?”
“Sticking pins in all the voodoo dolls of my exes. Don’t you make those?”

“What’s up?”
“My period. Seriously, today is going to suck.”

Or my personal favorite:

“Why don’t you ever text me back?”
“I’m just really busy right now. I’m sorry.”

The last one is succinct, subtle and totally mature (which takes all the fun out of the other two). Whatever you do, realize that disaster and awkwardness will always be a possibility. If you can embrace that, you can finally stop feeling bad about the lack of chemistry between you and cat-boy. 

Sometimes chemistry happens, and sometimes it doesn’t. That, or you have to lie and say you’re allergic to cats. Deathly allergic. But it’s totally your call.

By: Alise Murawski | Image: Source

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