College Dating: Making the First Move


Is it just me or does it seem like boys are not stepping up to the plate lately? That is what I have been thinking for a while now when it comes to guys being the first to ask girls out on dates. As girls, we can pine away for a guy for months upon months. We think that smiling at him across the lecture hall or talking to him after class and complimenting him on his hair or deep blue eyes will be enough for him to get the hint that we kind of, sort of really like him.

I was a little flustered with this whole dilemma, so I took to the streets. Rather, I grabbed my phone and made it my project to find out what others thought about the idea of who should ask who out first.

After conducting a small survey from my phone’s contact list, I found some interesting information. This information may change the thinking of girls waiting for the cute guy down the hall to ask them out on a fun ice cream date.

I asked 19 people (10 girls and nine boys) this question: Who do you think should make the first move when it comes to dating? The guy or the girl? Or does it not matter anymore?

I think I made quite a discovery.

The majority of the girls I asked (eight out of 10) said that they definitely believed that the guy should be the one to make the first move. The common reason behind this thinking was that by asking a girl out, the guy shows confidence. He makes himself vulnerable, free to complete rejection when he puts himself out there and asks to see you on a not-so-platonic level. That right there is an admirable trait that I don’t think many girls can turn down.

The responses from the girls didn’t really surprise me much. I believe we are all somewhat shaped to think that our Prince Charming or some daring bad boy of a guy is going to come around and take the initiative to ask us out. It’s hard not to think that way with all the movies and fairy tales that we have grown up watching.

Here’s the kicker: six out of the nine boys I asked voiced that they believe that it really doesn’t matter who asks who out. A driven, confident girl who knows who she likes and isn’t afraid of asking him out is a major turn on. It was also expressed that given the time we live in, the “rules” of dating have changed and girls seem to like to take charge and don’t care to wait around for a boy to work up the nerve to ask them out.

Out of everything that I learned after taking biology my first semester of college, I remember “correlation does not mean causation.” Therefore, I am no way claiming that my little survey serves any means to a breakthrough in all the struggles men and women face while dating, but there is quite a difference in a way that these two groups think.

While women wait around for men to ask them out, men are waiting for women to ask them out. We are all playing a waiting game. How silly is that?

Asking someone out is no walk in the park either, so we are all waiting for quite a while. Opportunities are being missed and possible love interests are moving on. That right there is so unfortunate.

I believe it is time that we break out of the social construct of what dating “should be.” Ladies, if you like a man, stop waiting around and make a move! Women haven’t been scared in the past to get what they want, whether it be the right to vote or a high position job, so why don’t we get the men we want, too? Is that too farfetched? I don’t think so.

And gentlemen, please don’t forget chivalry; it is a beautiful thing. Sure, a lot of people prance around and shout “chivalry is dead,” but I believe otherwise. Chivalry isn’t dead; it is just very rare these days.

All in all, don’t let the status quo prevent you from asking someone out.

Stop waiting around like Cinderella for your prince to come. Glass slippers aren’t that comfortable. Be a trendsetter ... buy some sneakers and go get your prince instead.

By: Kaity Martin | Image: Source

1 comment: Leave Your Comments

  1. Well, it is quite true and interesting. When it comes about loving someone, it comes from the bottom of the heart and in my opinion it does not matter at all that who initiates the things to move ahead. Recently I felt into love with an Iranian girl and she was feeling the same. Finding me very shy to initiate, she herself talked to me and initiated a new life for us. So, in my opinion no one should wait for the opposite side to initiate thing, if it is all about love.

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