How to Have a Summer Fling, Not a Summer Disaster

There you are, lounging on the beach, finally breaking out that new bikini that has been glaring at you from your closet. You’ve paid your dues on the treadmill, and now it’s time to treat yourself to some relaxation alongside the waves.

All of a sudden he appears. Appear would be an understatement; he almost floats out of the water, blessed with the abs of Taylor Lautner, and if you turn your head to the right and squint your eyes he almost looks like a younger version of Ryan Gosling. It might be the 90 degree weather, it is quite possible you’re suffering from the side effects of dehydration, but you swear that this Greek God of a man is heading your way.

He doesn’t know you, you don’t know him and now he has been subconsciously stamped in red ink as “Summer Fling Material.” But now what? Should you get up and say, “Hey, I’m Kaity and I think you’re cute,” and then let the whirlwind of a summer flirty fling begin?

Hold up though, what is a summer fling anyways? I’ve been pondering this question for quite some time. After asking around, one thing held true in other girls' definitions of a summer fling: emotions do not come into play.

According to a fling is a, “period or occasion of unrestrained, impulsive, or extravagant behavior.” Let me put some emphasis here on the mention of a “period or occasion.” This means that this fling is only temporary. It is a fleeting moment (or in this case summer) in time where you have fun and set feelings aside.

Now, I’m really no expert here when it comes to summer flings, but I would bet that separating feelings from a summer fling could pose quite a challenge. It is almost impossible not to develop feelings for someone you are attracted to and are spending time and intimate moments with on quite a regular basis.

Before starting a summer fling, no matter how jaw-dropping the guy is who may be “fling material,” you must sit down and consider if you are "fling material."

Are you going to be able to not have deep feelings for this boy? When you depart your separate ways when the summer comes to a close, will you be able to handle that? These are some questions you should consider before throwing yourself into a summer fling because without the prior precautions it might just turn into a mid-or post-summer rut.

Also, you need to understand where he is coming from, too. You don’t want him to find himself liking you more than what was originally intended, because well can you say... awkward?

I know I must sound like such a party pooper here, but I promise you I’m not trying to rain on your summer fling parade. Just make sure that what starts out as a “no-strings-attached” spontaneous summer fling doesn’t turn into a heartbreak or make you an unintentional heartbreaker.

As much as we may want to believe that we can separate feelings from relationships, it is quite a tricky task to pursue. If you make your fellow “flinger” aware of where you stand and where this summer fling is or is not going to go, and you stick to that agreement, then I wish you a happy summer fling season!

After all, you’re young, it’s summer and he kinda looks like Ryan Gosling, right? Just be careful, because even if he looks like Noah from "The Notebook," it doesn’t mean he will write you a letter every single day for an entire year after this summer fling is over, and you, unlike Allie, will have to be okay with that.

This article is a part of Kaity's column focusing on dating and relationships in college.

By: Kaity Martin | Image: Source


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